Sunday, May 23, 2010

What God's Been Teaching Me While I Write

"Writing is no longer just a hobby. It is a very real way for me to meet with my Maker and learn about who He is."

Ever since I was a little girl, I've been fascinated with written language, particularly stories that could carry me away from my seemingly mundane life and into a world apart. As I grew older, I journalled regularly - both as a release for my pent up emotions and out of a desire to see my handwriting on a blank page, maybe one day making history in the form of a book. After high school, my journaling days became fewer and fewer until they faded away completely. The desire to become an author, to see my name and my work of written art in the spotlight on bookstore shelves, enveloped me completely. I wanted to be more than I was - more than a lowly student. I wanted to be famous.

I began working on the stories I'd started in high school - deciding on the plot, developing the characters, and giving my story meaning and purpose. It took a lot of planning, careful deliberation, and intent on my part. My story couldn't just be good. It had to be the best.

Looking back now, I laugh at myself. What naive dreams I had. What selfish hopes. What a self-pleasing, empty hobby.

I'm still working on those stories, but my goal is different now. Writing is no longer just a hobby, no longer a means of gaining fame and fortune. It is a very real way for me to meet with my Maker and learn about who He is. I've found more joy in that than I ever did in seeking to be the best author in the world. I still like to see my handwriting on the page, but out of a joy for the gift God has given me. I'd still like to be published, but out of a hope to share my faith with others. I don't have to be "the best author in the world" because someone else already has that title and He's more worthy of it than anyone else will ever hope to be.